• 2 January 2003

Day taxi banged into the car at the junction of Petain Rd…

-> Turned out I lost the case, coming out from the side road. We all knew the driver saw me turning out and came close to me on purpose.

• 21 June 2003

DAY OF ACCIDENT AT THOMSON ROAD TOWARDS PIE JURONG 2030HRS… GIRL SENT TO CGH VIA AMBULANCE… CAR SERIOUSLY WRECKED…

• 5 February 2004

Day my car rolled down at SGH in the middle of a heavy traffic, rear bumper crashed onto Steven’s (Police) Rear Side Left because I did not pull hand brake…

• 29 July 2001

DAY OF PURCHASE OF PALM 505 FROM MICROHOUSE OA, FUNAN!

• 15 August 2001

Official Date of Completed transfer from organizer to Palm!

• 8 June 2002

Day I Received My UOB Credit Card

• 9 June 2002

Day of First Signature on One Card for Nokia 8910

• 31 December 2002

Date of Purchase of Palm Tungsten from Protocol, Funan!

• 5 August 2003

Day of Collection of Subaru Impreza 1.6 4drs Auto, SFA 9215 L!!!

Absent from Work… with Grace… Bukit Panjang Days

• 9 June 2002

*Did it with Grace 4 times on early Sunday morning & Monday

• 16 July 2002

Visit to Dr Teh…

• 1 September 2002

Day Girl & Bing Bing moved in with me!

• 8 September 2002 Sunday (yup, all in one day)

Day of Moving House with Mak, Ryan & Me.

Day Girl’s Uncle Attempted Suicide by Stabbing his abodomen, Rushed down with Mak, Guo Bao & Girl.

Day Ryan Borrowed Car to look for Jasmine, but she fell asleep… Went to his place at AMK after visiting Girl’s Uncle at NUH at about 1.30am.

• 12 January 2003

Jay Chow in Concert! Singapore Indoor Stadium, East Side A13 Row 12 Seat 1 & 2

• 21 June 2003

DAY OF ACCIDENT AT THOMSON ROAD TOWARDS PIE JURONG 2030HRS… GIRL SENT TO CGH VIA AMBULANCE… CAR SERIOUSLY WRECKED…

• 2 – 3 July 2003

A. Factory Tour with Danny, C.S. (Korean Distributor) & Grace

• 14 January 2004

Started and completed cabling of Girl’s Work Area + TV Console Area and Area Cleaning at 2.04am.

-> This was when she stayed at PP, we painted the room, customized the working tables, we wanted to work out Medi-Tech from home, and turned out I hardly worked for a day straight without being lazy.

• 20 January 2004

Day I laid hands on Girl after she attempted to throw one of the puppies after a bad quarrel over the opening of the gate…

• 29 January 2004

Night of 99% Completion of Setup of Stuff in Room, Layout & Organisation

• 31 January 2004

Night I got into trouble at Centro, with bouncer, then with Bengs, then with the Police sigh.

• 23 February 2004

Week that Girl starts school with SIM, Twice or Thrice a Week. 7.30pm -10.30pm

• 27 February 2004

Girl’s Last Working Day for Bon Cafe

I can’t stand this part of myself, but I really can’t help it.. and I mean, really stupid details at the end of the day, every time.

See with the new pc, I need to re-organise shit, folders, yesterday I was working on the iMac and 2 laptops concurrently till I was going nuts.

But why going nuts? It is because of how I handle it, more so the need for the right now, done now, everything at once mindset unknowingly.

So, how?

1. ‘Fix’ as you go by mentality

2. Prioritize (which apparently) I had never been good at.

It’s just this insane desire and need… to put shit together, group them, I can’t stand them all over the place,

It’s the insane need for ‘Master Template’s,

The hope of a ‘one-off’ thing, and life will become much easier and organised for all future references.

What am I talking about? Talking about KIV contacts I don’t use anymore to Palm, updating the ones on Outlook, to be synced with the iPhone. Talking about… KIV previous word files that we don’t use but may need, (somehow we never seem to be able to find it when we need it), organising Documents and shortcuts to be current, so that I work efficiently, it kinda steers my mindset, for eg, when I put FX notes on the desktop, it makes me more determined to collect even more articles… problem is in me, compiling everything in word in FX Articles Journal or to standardize everything on WordPress. Or just leave it as it is lol.

My focus is always wrong, in this case, I read through, and file, and cannot remember the details at times for I spend so much time organising, that I sometimes forget the importance of actually absorbing it. LOL

Just that, it’s never a one-off thing, it’s always work in progress. The way we organise our stuff, well rather our electronic stuff, is also our mindset at that point in time, which changes.

Though, it’s fine. And it shall be, that I do not procrastinate because I procrastinate, I will be efficient and ongoing because I execute everything smoothly.

Even blogging about this had been on my mind for a very long time, sigh. The need for a fix-as-you-come-by, or by prority,

shrug, maybe it’s just the way it is.

I wished I had written this post and I could read my own post so I’d never explore with macshit.

and I never, ever want to run or see another Mac OS platform again. Sure, it might be great for some, but in the 1 week trial of it… sigh, was nothing more than frustrating.

Or perhaps, I wasn’t as adaptive as I thought, I sure am experimental, often to much, much regret I hadn’t started in the first place.

Today was really the limit, then I realised it was also how Girl actually named her files that cannot be read of a Windows platform, namely why the fyck she had to name folders with a * or a /.

Yes, and trading was fycking bad today, especially so. Never trade Mondays, I told myself time, and time and time again. And its been so for the last 2 weeks, horrendous trader’s nightmare as well. Take up a position, it goes against you. When you don’t, it goes in the direction you saw. Take profit, it moves much more in your direction. Let it run, markets reverse to a loss. Oh, loss. Stop loss, , cut, took a $700 hit, market had to reverse and went even further up, to a profit. No cut loss? Ok… Markets moved against me by.. let’s see.. 2214hrs… 49.5 pips.

So, maconfyckion, a new term I coined.

Perhaps trying to figure out, back up and install Windows on a Macbook mid 2009 model and trading on the Fujitsu isn’t a great idea.

The Mac is designed for simplicity, things to be dumped into a Main folder and let the PC do the work, for organisers, people who likes their shit in a certain way in a certain format, I wouldn’t recommend the Mac

First, the ‘explorer’.

On the iMac, every fycking screen you click on is tinsy weensy on the 27” iMac, and I remember editing every folder to the format that I’m used to. EVERY FOLDER. There is a set default view, but it does not work that well in my experience.then, you got to change the size, say if you choose the thumbnail icon view for most folders, but the settings keep running away from the other, say, picture files. So I had to change the size for a folder with 10 pics, and the folder with 100 pics. Not to mention if I were to add or delete files from that folder.

Pictures

Pictures! the default program is iphuuutoo. What does it do? Show you one picture at a time (unless you highlight or Ctrl-A). Else, it duplicates the files that you already have in your HD. Whatever the fyck for? I sure missed a simply preview and the right click button to see the next picture. Arrr…. the simplicities now.

So for a guy that loves and has to organise his shit… tsk tsk. In organising, I am very used to, and need to see the master folders clearly, Mac has that but it differs greatly from Windows. Talk about that, copy and paste

Copy and Paste

Is not a function that Mac is versed to, though it can. What happens is that you have to copy the file, find the destination folder again (most times, Idky now), paste, then go back (find the original folder again, cause it switched from destination, most times unlike Windows) and get rid of the file you want moved. and imagine… oh wait, iTunes

iTunes

Well this got nothing to do with Mac, but for people are want to group their own folders and singers, uncheck the let iTunes organise music. What it does it put another copy into the default music folder located in iTunes, sorts itself according to the artist, and album name. So if I had originally one folder as… forget it, waste of time. Uncheck that if you want to organise and don’t want duplicates all over the place, not to mention on iTunes and the ! marks popping up on songs.

The Desktop

Everytime you move your mouse, the fycking screen disappears and the whole bunch of your applications are splat all over the screen like bird shit. It looks cool, mactechny and all, but omg, for a trader, it means having to look for that one application pop off window, in the middle of all your other applications, and it is always in different places. Shudder.

Videos

There’s VLC, but it is laggy on Mac, and there is always a loss of sound in most movie files. Not to mention out of so many formats, there are many the Mac does not handle that well.

Utorrent

Function to select files and folders to be DL are gone, so basically you have to DL all the shity txt files and Idkwhatnfo are for files.

Documents

There’s the transfer of files with other users, (like WINDOWS users), work, and Mac and Windows are different OS running on different file systems, namely the Mac OS Extended (Journaled) and NTFS respectively. One can read the other, one can copy from the other, but cannot edit, one can edit and copy… Spent whole morning and afternoon and night.. Whole day trying to figure that out.

Plug and Play

and I miss this function so much, plug, play, drivers locate, install, voila, done. With Mac, was finding the right program, clicking on it, finding it through the Installer, running it, looking for application folder, than looking for the relevant icon you just installed.

Conclusion: if you are Windows based for more than 10 years, better to stick to it.

and I woke up one morning… and it was there…

Impulsive buying, first thing I thought,must have missed the discounts if purchased from our friends. Sigh. She will always be her.

then I smiled… then I kinda slapped myself a little… Yea.. it’s there.. the 27” iMac : )

A Trading Resolution For Us All

This week the Wall Street Journal ran an article regarding the best way to keep a New Year’s resolution. The gist of the story is summarized below:

• When setting a resolution, simply deciding to change your behavior may work for a while. But when the cognitive parts of the brain responsible for decision-making become stressed by other life events, that resolve is likely to succumb to an emotional desire for instant gratification, says Baba Shiv, a Stanford University marketing professor who specializes in neuroeconomics, the study of the biological bases for making economic decisions.
• Keeping a resolution requires a detailed plan, with emotional rewards when milestones are reached—and even a strategy when there’s a setback. And don’t wait for Jan. 1, experts say: Start planning now to increase your chances for success.
• Keeping a resolution isn’t a 100-yard dash. It’s a marathon,” says John Norcross, a psychology professor at the University of Scranton in Pennsylvania.

I thought hard about this story as I reflected on yet another year of trading. My greatest weakness – and I am sure I am not alone in this – is my horrible habit of adding to a losing position. Over the years II have become much better at curtailing this behaviour, but I continue to make this mistake on more than one occasion.

Although the article suggests that we focus on rewarding good behavior in order to adhere to our resolutions, I think when it comes to averaging into losers we should instead scare ourselves straight into understanding the true risk of this strategy. The reason why we like to average into losers is because we are often able to get away with it. The natural ebb and flow of the markets rescues us from certain loss and we wind up walking away with a few pips of profit. As soon as the position is closed and we breath a sigh of relief and instantly forget the idiocy of our actions.

But in order to stop this bad behaviour we need to truly understand its consequences. Suppose you traded with a 20 point stop and 20 point target. One loss would require only 1 win to offset it. Even if you used a negative risk reward ratio of 1:2 it would only take two trades to offset the loss. Now suppose you got yourself into a trade that moved against you but instead of stopping yourself out at -20 you moved the stop back to -40 and added another unit. Then again at -40 you became even more convinced that a turn your way was near and set the stop to -60 adding yet another unit. When the cold hard reality of your actions finally hit you you would be out -120 on that single trade. It would take you 12 consecutive winners to bring your account back to breakeven.

Talk about digging your own grave.

Yet in the heat of the battle we never consider the true risks of our actions. All we care about is getting out without a loss. But in fact, we have already lost. As anyone who has ever averaged down into a position knows, in the end the trading gods always ruin you. Paul Tudor Jones once said, “Only losers average losers.” As we enter 2011, let that be a trading resolution for us all.

I wanted to be understanding, and patient and gentle, till she sees the change in me and her reaction to me becomes natural. But no. I always have to initiate, always have to undress, always have to be on top, always have to be doing fuckingg everything.

At the stall, sales had been horrific averaging $100.00 a day.

I wasn’t surprised at the figures. I was surprised at the amount of desire and ambition still lingering within my heart. I am worth more than $100 a day?

I am still learning to be humble and patient, yet my heart sores not at the investment poured in for $30 days, but at the 5 digit I would have had made if not for the business. Taking another hit not because girl wanted the business, but because i chose to play not being able to manage my time in a already very rushed set up.

1. Timing wasn’t right, November and December are the rainy and holiday season.

2. We rushed into it not knowing ourselves, how to make desserts, nor the competition well enough.

Sigh, I don’t even want to bring other things up.

Bro said one thing he learnt from his other half, is never to blame each other and be responsible for decisions made, individually or as a couple.

I’m that prideful, MCP, whatever. I expect a girl to be doing the girl things like mopping, washing and cleaning while I have my beer with my friends.  Hate counting petty cash in coins to tally the float at the end of a long fucking tiring day all for $100.00.

Yet there must be hope, that before $500 days are achieved, there must be the patient endurance of things screwing up, tons of wastage, frustrations, days of $13 sales, setting procedures, changing them, till we gather enough experience from our own trials and mistakes, and our reputation is built up.